However, with being in different places in our lives, there has grown some distance. It is natural to happen. It is the ebb and flow of time and where we are in life. But, it can be very lonely being the last of the group without a child. When the last person had their baby a few years ago, I felt very sad and even jealous and angry at times. I didn't write about it then because I did not feel like openly having a pitty party for me. There may have been an entry that had a sentence or two that referenced it. I edited it out because I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings or push them away. But, the distance continued to expand either way. I'm sure there are many reasons. Sometimes people just have to move on to do their healing from IF. Priorities obviously and rightfully shift. There is more common ground with those who are also in the life stage of raising children.
As much as I don't want it to, it hurts. Sometimes it is more and sometimes it is less. More often than not, it is less now, but it has taken time. Then I wonder, when will be the day when everyone is done growing their families? Will I still be without a child? Has that day already come to pass? That will not really be known for quite sometime. It will just silently happen and only to be determined by looking back to see when it was.
At least I feel like I am in a better place of acceptance now than when I first realized I was the last of the group without child. And I have found other blogs to read, some parenting after IF, some trying to grow their families and some that are childfree. Always new people to meet along the way. Just not sure which way it will be for me.