Pittsburgh Half-Marathon 2011

A few weeks ago, I ran in the Pittsburgh Half-Marathon for the second time. My goal was to run the race in under two hours and I am proud to say that I accomplished my goal! I ran the race in 1 hour and 56 minutes at an 8:50 mile pace. This exceeded what I had intended to accomplish in reducing my time by cutting my mile pace by 40 seconds! Two things certainly contributed to this success--a longer, established running base before ramping up the weekly mileage and the hill workouts.

In addition, I think this race was important because this year I ran it by myself. In someways I think it represents how far I have come in rebuilding my life. Last year, I ran it with my friend, Michele, and we were a great team. We supported each other through some tough things and we were each other's cheerleader. As we ran, Michele did a great job navigating between runners to keep our pace, while I kept an eye on the time as we passed each mile marker. This year, Michele was not able to sign up for the race in time. So, I ran solo on the course. I think this was good for me because I could prove to myself that I am very capable of accomplishing my goals independently.

And while I may have been running the race by myself, I was far from alone. I had several other friends who were running in the race and we didn't run together for various reasons--pace, corral assignments, and personal running style. But we sent each other a flurry of texts before the race and it felt like we would all be running together in spirit. It was funny because at one point during the race, I passed my friend, Heidi, who was running a leg in the Relay. It was great to see her and continue in our individual journeys.

Then RJ and his friend also came to cheer me on along the sidewalk next to the course. I was so touched because he postponed a fishing trip just to be sure to see me run. RJ asked me where I thought I might most need an extra boost of support, I gave him the map and told him at Mile 6, just before the West End Bridge. As I was reaching that point in the race, I grew more excited because this year I had someone out there cheering for me! RJ was wildly ringing his cow bell and waving the sign he made for me. His friend snapped a picture as I passed by them. They later told me that they had a ton of people comment on their cow bell playing and would yell all sorts of references to the Will Ferrel SNL skit. It really did raise the energy level. And that is what is great about this race is that there are so many people in the crowd to cheer on the runners. Not only do they support the person they know, but then they extend that enthusiasm to all who run in the race. RJ and his friend then found a spot near the end of the race to give me that last hurrah before sprinting to the finish line. RJ's parents and uncle were there, too, as they came to watch his aunt run in the race.

After the race, I tried to look for RJ and his friend, but there were just so many people. I think we just missed each other, so I headed back to my neighborhood. It was a long walk to my car, but I had so much fun. I loved the crowd support with their cheering, costumes and signs. I loved the music all along the course with a variety of bands. It was great to hear other runners comment on their experiences as we were running. I think this kind of race is great for me because it really brings me into the space of living in the moment--to be aware of what is going on internally and externally and embracing every bit of it.

Once I was back to my neighborhood, I met up with RJ and his friend and we cheered on the Marathon runners along Mile 22. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, it was great to revel in my own accomplishments and to continue to offer support for those still running in the longer race. Yeah, I wore my finisher's medal. What other day can you do that and not look obnoxious? :)

Reclaiming Summer

It has been HOT! We have had a spell of temperatures in the nineties and I could not be enjoying it more. Call me crazy, but I have been enjoying feeling the heat of the summer. I have not felt more alive in a long time!

To give some insight into my thought process, I should take you back to my summer experiences growing up. When I was a child, I grew up in a town on the west side of Cleveland. It was on Lake Erie, so summers were hot and humid. Granted, it is not as humid as many places in the South where you can feel like you are swimming in the air, but there is a certain amount of humidity that comes with living along one of the Great Lakes. It can easily get into the eighties and nineties in the Cleveland area during the summer. I say this because I've had many people express surprise in this who have not been to the northern part of Ohio.

Any who, I grew up without air conditioning and surprisingly survived with fans! My family did not install air conditioning until after I had finished college and I had moved out. Upon getting married, my ex loved air conditioning and would crank it up during the summer. I also lived in Hotlanta for four years and everywhere I went was blasting with cool air--so much so, that I wore more pants and carried sweatshirts with me everywhere because I would be freezing. It actually made me more uncomfortable going from the extreme heat to extreme, unnaturally cool air inside the buildings. Sorry, but I'd rather deal with one steady temperature instead of the influx and the absurdity of packing layers--in the summer. It just feels wrong to me.

So, this year I have been trying not to turn on my air conditioning in my apartment. I was more motivated in trying to save some money, but as the days passed I realized I liked having the air conditioning off. I love having the windows open and breathing fresh air. I love the feel of a summer breeze and the sounds of the birds in the tree by my balcony. It makes me feel so much more alive and connected to the world. I realize how quiet and isolating closing up your home can be when using the air conditioning. By closing everything up, I miss hearing the soft sounds of life, the smells of flowers or barbecues, and the certainty that what you feel and see are in sync with each other. And as odd as this may sound, I missed feeling the hot summer sweat--not the kind that makes me feel completely uncomfortable and slimy gross--the kind that is lightly sticky, but reminds me of the warmth that it is truly summer.

I haven't experienced summer my way, the way that I had for most of my life in a really long time. And it is completely awesome to be able to to return to living and experiencing summer my way. Swimming in the cool of the pool is that much more satisfying. Watermelon dripping off my chin tastes that much more sweet. And going for a walk on a warm summer night with my man is that much more intoxicating. I love, LOVE summer!

From a Tiny Seed, Come Big Dreams

I have some big news, some really big news! After volunteering at the hospital and steadily having conversations with a few people here and there, something big for me has evolved. My proposal for a pilot summer reading program has been accepted!!! It will be an eight week project and it is related to my graduate studies. It will be a great experience and falls right in line with what I will need to do for my final project to complete my program. If all goes well, this could be really fantastic for me!

And thinking on it, the whole progression puts me back to when I was in some of my darkest moments in my life, both on the heels of facing infertility and soon after in coping with my divorce. I had volunteered at other hospitals and I was looking forward to continuing it once I settled in Pennsylvania. I have heard from several sources that when you are feeling down and at your worst, sometimes that is the best time to give back. It helped to take the focus off of myself and allowed me to put my energy towards making someone's life better. It was a much needed break from outside of my own head and to feel purposeful. I did not realize it until I was able to step back. As the old hospital was closing and the new one was opening, everyone was invited to write on the walls in the hospital--patients, families, nurses, doctors, staff, and volunteers. My message reflecting my experience was deeply personal and at that moment I felt forever grateful for having an outlet from my pain. And I continue to feel grateful.

It was also around the time when I was reading Joel Osteen's book, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential. One thing that was mentioned in the book is the importance of planting little seeds. It is when you start doing good in whatever form and continue to cultivate it, good and unexpected things can happen. And that is exactly how this whole proposal came to be. About two and a half years ago I started volunteering at the hospital. I felt very motivated to speak up and share from my heart in promoting education for children receiving long-term care. I formed some wonderful relationships with people with genuine energy, passion, and vision. My time at the hospital also lead me to my current professional development path in working towards my Master's. And now I am blessed with an opportunity to promote my passions in literacy, tie it into my studies in applied developmental psychology, and expand my experiences at the hospital.

Two and a half years ago I felt so lost and broken. My identity continued to tumble and crash. As I was trying to figure out how I was going to put my life back together and move forward, I was blessed that my ex was flexible to allow me to continue my volunteer work and backhandedly supported my thoughts on going back to school. I say this because I don't think he thought I could really get into graduate school. His words were the right thing to say, but they were empty and hollow. He told me with a quiet sigh, "Jamie, you don't have to climb mountains." He thought my efforts to try to improve the school program and to promote educational rights of hospitalized children was too big for me. Glad to say he was wrong!

So now the real work begins! I am excited and nervous and in awe. It will be a lot to do, but so worth it. I want to make every moment count. I have a post-it from my adviser, who is ridiculously awesome, and it has become my new mantra.

GET TO WORK--You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

It is awesome to have dreams. It is even better when you can make them happen.