This year I made a resolution to not backdate my blog posts. While I have been mostly successful, it has ended up with me posting less. Not sure if it is really getting the result I intended. Whoops! Although, I think it has given me an opportunity to step back and think about my blog space.
Last year I had wedding planning to sprinkle into my rotation of posts. It was nice to take some of the focus away from my past IF experiences or how IF pops up in my life here and there.
Maybe a shift set in motion. This year there have been times where I may feel at a loss for what to write. I have not been as inclined to write about IF, so I guess I have not been writing as much. I've needed my life to be more, which it has. It just may not be well reflected in my blog. I should probably just write more about the everyday or what is current, rather than trying to make that connection to IF specifically. Just write about life as it is.
Microblog Mondays
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogging. Show all posts
Monday, August 29, 2016
Friday, February 5, 2016
Setting the Tone
After much reflection and searching on Pintrest, I have found my new mantra or inspiration. It is from a motivational poster.
"Feels good to get some stuff done. Yay!" -- MaryKate McDevitt
Some good words for the procrastinator in me to remember the good feelings of accomplishment and relief when the task or job is done. I'm trying write more consistently in real-time on my blog. I was satisfied with the number of entries last year, but I'd like to get out of the habit of back dating them. :)
Thursday, January 21, 2016
January Resolutions
It's 2016!
When thinking about a new year, I take my time. Or sometimes, I let inspiration wash over me when it comes, which can sometimes be in late December. I guess my point is that I have a flexible time table when thinking about self improvement or inspiration to have a better year. Sometimes I try to set a goal and sometimes I set a theme.
For example, one year I found a quote that I really liked and kept it as a mantra to help me refocus. It was my self declared year of peace. It really was empowering and challenged me to let go of the little things or better prioritize my concerns while dealing with them in a more positive light.
Other times, it may have been a little more concrete, such as trying to write a certain number of posts each month. This was helpful when it felt to me that my blog had lost its focus or when I almost felt like I had run out of things to say, or at least IF related. It gave me permission to acknowledge (again) that my life was more than. Instead of waiting for an IF related post, the posts began to evolve into sometimes what goes on after IF, that life carries forward with other things to celebrate or observe or take notice. However, IF does continue to pop up from time to time, but it is different. I am different. I guess it kind of shows how IF may always be part of who you are, but the focus can shift.
So while in the past I have been trying to be mindful of trying to post regularly, I think I am going to try to do so more in the moment. I will sometimes go back and write backdated posts because historically, I want to capture the general time frame of when I had those thoughts, experiences or ah-ha moments. But, then I lose time in trying to keep up with other blogs that I enjoy more fully. While I will read in real-time or with binge reading, I do try to keep current in my reading. It may not show in my commenting, but I try.
So, I guess this year I should find a good quote about time.
When thinking about a new year, I take my time. Or sometimes, I let inspiration wash over me when it comes, which can sometimes be in late December. I guess my point is that I have a flexible time table when thinking about self improvement or inspiration to have a better year. Sometimes I try to set a goal and sometimes I set a theme.
For example, one year I found a quote that I really liked and kept it as a mantra to help me refocus. It was my self declared year of peace. It really was empowering and challenged me to let go of the little things or better prioritize my concerns while dealing with them in a more positive light.
Other times, it may have been a little more concrete, such as trying to write a certain number of posts each month. This was helpful when it felt to me that my blog had lost its focus or when I almost felt like I had run out of things to say, or at least IF related. It gave me permission to acknowledge (again) that my life was more than. Instead of waiting for an IF related post, the posts began to evolve into sometimes what goes on after IF, that life carries forward with other things to celebrate or observe or take notice. However, IF does continue to pop up from time to time, but it is different. I am different. I guess it kind of shows how IF may always be part of who you are, but the focus can shift.
So while in the past I have been trying to be mindful of trying to post regularly, I think I am going to try to do so more in the moment. I will sometimes go back and write backdated posts because historically, I want to capture the general time frame of when I had those thoughts, experiences or ah-ha moments. But, then I lose time in trying to keep up with other blogs that I enjoy more fully. While I will read in real-time or with binge reading, I do try to keep current in my reading. It may not show in my commenting, but I try.
So, I guess this year I should find a good quote about time.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Blogging Relationships
Sometimes after commenting on another person's blog post, you realize that your comment could make a good blog entry. I found Mel's post, Don't Starve the Good Bloggers, to be an interesting read. It suggests diverting the energy in responding to trolls towards supporting the bloggers you enjoy reading and where their story, their writing touches you. I like the idea of investing in others and sharing kindness. The comments from the post seemed to follow a conversation around how people post comments or how often they receive them. It reminded me of fostering relationships and friendships. Below is my response to the post and its dialogue.
I think the blogging relationship between readers and writers follows similar patterns of friendships over a lifetime. Some people are long time friends, some are casual friends, and some are work friends. Some are neighbors or people you have met through a common interest, like going to the gym or taking an art class. Some have that instant kinship or that feeling like you have been friends your whole life, and then a new chapter begins. They will always be dear to your heart and you might miss them. Some friendships ebb and flow where there are periods of closeness and periods of distance, but then closeness again. People's lives change and we may go down separate paths. The most fortunate of friendships are the ones that you can pick up right where you left off, no matter the time between.
For me, I feel like I am in a very small niche of the IF community. When I started my blog, it was after the active TTCing and shortly after my marriage had ended. It was and has been a way for me to process what I went through and the lingering shadows that follow me now. I had made friends in the IF community from another source of support online before everything fell apart [in my marriage] and followed them here. So, upon entering the blogging community, I started with a very low readership because I was not actively trying. It has never been huge. Who would read about "their worst nightmare?" But, I keep writing for me and maybe, maybe it might be of help for someone out there.
And I've kept up in reading this blog [Stirrup Queens] because I enjoy what Mel has to say and because I have found some voices who have been through kind of what I am going through and are on the other side, the side without children. It gives me a light in how to live right now as a childless person. I may get another chance to try to be a mother, but not at the moment. I find comfort in knowing if I have the opportunity to try to be a mother, I am connected to a place where others are actively trying. But, it is also a space that if I remain childless, that there are women here to show me I'll be okay.
Thank you to all who read my blog! Thank you to those who post comments, as well! Thank you to the lovely ladies who have shared in their friendship with me beyond the online world and IRL! Hugs!
I think the blogging relationship between readers and writers follows similar patterns of friendships over a lifetime. Some people are long time friends, some are casual friends, and some are work friends. Some are neighbors or people you have met through a common interest, like going to the gym or taking an art class. Some have that instant kinship or that feeling like you have been friends your whole life, and then a new chapter begins. They will always be dear to your heart and you might miss them. Some friendships ebb and flow where there are periods of closeness and periods of distance, but then closeness again. People's lives change and we may go down separate paths. The most fortunate of friendships are the ones that you can pick up right where you left off, no matter the time between.
For me, I feel like I am in a very small niche of the IF community. When I started my blog, it was after the active TTCing and shortly after my marriage had ended. It was and has been a way for me to process what I went through and the lingering shadows that follow me now. I had made friends in the IF community from another source of support online before everything fell apart [in my marriage] and followed them here. So, upon entering the blogging community, I started with a very low readership because I was not actively trying. It has never been huge. Who would read about "their worst nightmare?" But, I keep writing for me and maybe, maybe it might be of help for someone out there.
And I've kept up in reading this blog [Stirrup Queens] because I enjoy what Mel has to say and because I have found some voices who have been through kind of what I am going through and are on the other side, the side without children. It gives me a light in how to live right now as a childless person. I may get another chance to try to be a mother, but not at the moment. I find comfort in knowing if I have the opportunity to try to be a mother, I am connected to a place where others are actively trying. But, it is also a space that if I remain childless, that there are women here to show me I'll be okay.
Thank you to all who read my blog! Thank you to those who post comments, as well! Thank you to the lovely ladies who have shared in their friendship with me beyond the online world and IRL! Hugs!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Reassessment
I've realized that I haven't been typing much on my blog lately. There have been a couple of posts lingering in the back of my mind that I've been thinking about writing. But then, there are days that I just don't do it. I guess this blog had been a place for me to process some of my losses while giving myself some credit in plugging away at rebuilding my life. But I wonder if that is changing.
I've come to a place where I kind of feel tired of writing about IF and try and do think about it less. But, I'm also trying to figure out where I fit in the world. It's a combination of past, present and future selves.
Divorced.
Single.
Girlfriend.
IF'er...of the past.
Childless...at the moment.
Once a wife.
Daughter.
Sister.
Cousin.
Friend.
Godmother.
Teacher.
Student.
Mobile Therapist.
Maybe married person again someday.
Maybe Mom down the road, if given the chance.
Lady who works with kids at a hospital...playing, comforting, guiding (a.k.a. Child Life Specialist).
How do I identify myself? For myself? To others...those close within my circle and those on the outside? Some parts of me are kept a little hidden, not exactly advertising them and wanting to be private. Some of those parts that are below the surface. I'd like to keep them there, but sometimes something happens and they come bubbling up, almost screaming in my face.
For instance, lately there is a range in how people respond to my answer to their question if I have any children. Some say that I still have time. Others say I had better get serious if I want it to happen. Then the new wrinkle, that I work with kids so I must not really need or want any of my own. Some hint that I must be caught up in my career to be concerned with having children. Are you implying that because I don't have children that my fate has been decided? Is it assumed I must not want them or it is too late?
Do I really feel like writing about this stuff when I am trying to move on with my life? But maybe through writing about it, it does help me to pass through the pain and get to the other side? I want to be living in the moment. And if I am living in the moment, do I want to spend my time writing about it or just get to the business of living it?
Then I think about work/life balance. To be honest, work has taken up a huge chunk of my time. It is to be expected with starting a new career and working at a new hospital. But, I want my life to be more. It has to be more. I love my job and I feel my work is meaningful, it has purpose. But I have to remember to invest in me. I'm not going to write about work here. And since that has been a lot of my life, I sometimes feel I haven't had much to share.
However, another big part of my life has been in developing new friendships, trying to maintain old friendships and enjoying the developing romantic relationship with my boyfriend.
Maybe the maintaining old friendships it is one reason why I have kept up my blog. I do not want to say good-bye to my friends that I have made from my IF journey. I have a hard time letting go. When people are in different phases or chapters in life, it can sometimes be tricky to relate...that part takes work, effort and allowing oneself to step in another person's shoes for a moment to see what is important to them. Sometimes I am afraid of being left behind. And starting over in a new place can be slow moving and difficult. Making friends when you are older is not easy. People are more established, have their routines, community and priorities.
Do I keep writing? What do I write?
Life has been work, family, boyfriend and friends (trying to make new ones and hoping to stay connected to old ones). Family seems to be on hold--they are all so far away. We call, Facebook and text. Is it enough? I'm hoping my move to my new apartment will help give me more flexibility to see them. But, they are busy and have their priorities, too. But at least with family, they really understand and can be more forgiving of the distance thing. They continue to cheer me on from afar, as my heart wishes it could physically be closer. But, to be fair, there are dear friends who are like family and we can be there for each other even if large chunks of time pass. Those are the friendships to cherish, a mutual understanding that life gets busy sometimes, but you can pick up right where you left off.
Well, this post has been a bit of everywhere. Maybe it is a bit of a window of what I have been mulling over the past several weeks. What is the purpose of my blog? Is it changing or is it that with my life going in another direction, so too will my blog?
There have been many chapters since starting my blog. Maybe Part I is coming to a close, the chapters about grieving the loss of motherhood and my marriage, taking on the adventure of dating and new relationships, being a student and looking for employment.
Maybe Part II is about shoring up my new career, finding work/life balance, living as a single (at the moment), childless (for now) lady, and cultivating the relationships of friends, family and romantic partner with a sensitivity to balance.
I've come to a place where I kind of feel tired of writing about IF and try and do think about it less. But, I'm also trying to figure out where I fit in the world. It's a combination of past, present and future selves.
Divorced.
Single.
Girlfriend.
IF'er...of the past.
Childless...at the moment.
Once a wife.
Daughter.
Sister.
Cousin.
Friend.
Godmother.
Teacher.
Student.
Mobile Therapist.
Maybe married person again someday.
Maybe Mom down the road, if given the chance.
Lady who works with kids at a hospital...playing, comforting, guiding (a.k.a. Child Life Specialist).
How do I identify myself? For myself? To others...those close within my circle and those on the outside? Some parts of me are kept a little hidden, not exactly advertising them and wanting to be private. Some of those parts that are below the surface. I'd like to keep them there, but sometimes something happens and they come bubbling up, almost screaming in my face.
For instance, lately there is a range in how people respond to my answer to their question if I have any children. Some say that I still have time. Others say I had better get serious if I want it to happen. Then the new wrinkle, that I work with kids so I must not really need or want any of my own. Some hint that I must be caught up in my career to be concerned with having children. Are you implying that because I don't have children that my fate has been decided? Is it assumed I must not want them or it is too late?
Do I really feel like writing about this stuff when I am trying to move on with my life? But maybe through writing about it, it does help me to pass through the pain and get to the other side? I want to be living in the moment. And if I am living in the moment, do I want to spend my time writing about it or just get to the business of living it?
Then I think about work/life balance. To be honest, work has taken up a huge chunk of my time. It is to be expected with starting a new career and working at a new hospital. But, I want my life to be more. It has to be more. I love my job and I feel my work is meaningful, it has purpose. But I have to remember to invest in me. I'm not going to write about work here. And since that has been a lot of my life, I sometimes feel I haven't had much to share.
However, another big part of my life has been in developing new friendships, trying to maintain old friendships and enjoying the developing romantic relationship with my boyfriend.
Maybe the maintaining old friendships it is one reason why I have kept up my blog. I do not want to say good-bye to my friends that I have made from my IF journey. I have a hard time letting go. When people are in different phases or chapters in life, it can sometimes be tricky to relate...that part takes work, effort and allowing oneself to step in another person's shoes for a moment to see what is important to them. Sometimes I am afraid of being left behind. And starting over in a new place can be slow moving and difficult. Making friends when you are older is not easy. People are more established, have their routines, community and priorities.
Do I keep writing? What do I write?
Life has been work, family, boyfriend and friends (trying to make new ones and hoping to stay connected to old ones). Family seems to be on hold--they are all so far away. We call, Facebook and text. Is it enough? I'm hoping my move to my new apartment will help give me more flexibility to see them. But, they are busy and have their priorities, too. But at least with family, they really understand and can be more forgiving of the distance thing. They continue to cheer me on from afar, as my heart wishes it could physically be closer. But, to be fair, there are dear friends who are like family and we can be there for each other even if large chunks of time pass. Those are the friendships to cherish, a mutual understanding that life gets busy sometimes, but you can pick up right where you left off.
Well, this post has been a bit of everywhere. Maybe it is a bit of a window of what I have been mulling over the past several weeks. What is the purpose of my blog? Is it changing or is it that with my life going in another direction, so too will my blog?
There have been many chapters since starting my blog. Maybe Part I is coming to a close, the chapters about grieving the loss of motherhood and my marriage, taking on the adventure of dating and new relationships, being a student and looking for employment.
Maybe Part II is about shoring up my new career, finding work/life balance, living as a single (at the moment), childless (for now) lady, and cultivating the relationships of friends, family and romantic partner with a sensitivity to balance.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
100th Post
I cannot believe I have written 100 posts. That is a lot of writing! Thinking back to when I first began my blog and finished writing my first post, I wasn't even sure if I was going to return to write a second entry. I just felt so exposed and I was not sure how honest I would allow myself to be in this space. But I have surprised myself in what I have poured out onto its electronic pages.
I am thankful to have this place to allow myself to flow in my thoughts in the form of writing. It gives me a mirror to be able to see myself from another vantage point, to be able to reflect on my life. Over time, it allows me to notice the things that I always saw, but could not see at the present time. Perhaps I will learn to better see the truth more quickly and have the confidence to act on it more knowingly. But there is also a beauty in the unfolding of life and that in time more is revealed. There are also times when I can look back through my entries and see the progress that I have made in my life. I need to do more of that...give myself credit for my accomplishments across multiple domains...especially at this current junction of transition.
Time, you are a tricky thing. Sometimes it is agonizing waiting for it to pass, to be patient in allowing enough distance to do its work of growing or healing. Other times, you want to hold onto every second and try to steal away every bit of vibrancy experienced in those wonderfully big moments. It is a balance of patience, awareness and living to feel infinite.
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