Angry Tears

This summer I came to the conclusion that sometimes when I cry, they are angry tears. Angry tears come out of frustration and are not to be confused with sadness or lack of control. It is a release for me.

But I also get frustrated when I start to cry and I don't want to cry at that moment. And it just gets worse and worse the more I try to stop. It can feel like my insides are completely coming apart and melting down. It becomes difficult to breathe and I just want to run or escape as quickly as possible. I want to hide away from the world.

I hate how when I cry I feel like others see me as weak, oversensitive, or incompetent. I just become overwhelmed by emotion and feel things so intensely. It makes me upset because I so want to please and do not want to be judged by others. I am at a loss of how to make the tears stop. Sometimes the world feels so very heavy.

Bad, Bad Blogger...For Good Reason!

I have had every intention of writing other blogs, but I have been a busy lady.

1. I am in the middle of the semester with papers and projects piling up all around me. As a matter of fact, I am in the library typing this blog right now.
2. I went to San Diego for a conference for the Association for the Education of Children with Medical Needs (AECMN). It was an excellent conference and I met a lot of great people in the educational field in a children's hospital setting. And I got to visit with some of my family who live in San Diego! I really need to post about this trip and add in the pictures...so more to come on that one.
3. I am still moving/settling into my new apartment. I know, that was a month ago. I move at turtle speed. My goal is to have my pictures hung up by Thanksgiving and then I will feel more officially settled.
4. I have been making a better effort to get back into running. Got to sign up for the Turkey Trot!
5. I've been on Cloud Nine with you know who...New Guy! And it is great to feel that he is right up there with me, too. (I really should come up with another name for him in my blog...Hmmm?)

Yep, I've regressed to toddler mode and it has been about me, me, and me in this short, little post. :P