A couple of months ago, T~ and I were doing a couple of test runs using Facetime on his iPad. He was letting me borrow it for an interview. At first we tried his older brother and sister-in-law with their two children, but they were not picking up our call. They often Facetime with T~'s mom so he knew they had an account. No luck.
Then, we tried T~'s younger brother and sister-in-law. They answered the call and said they would help out. After we got it set up and connected on Facetime, T~ asked his brother how he was doing. He gave a vague answer and they both seemed quiet and almost kind of shy. Knowing his brother, T~ softly teased and asked his brother again and called him out on that something was up and to just say it. Looking back at his wife who was sitting beside him, they seemed to exchange looks. She smiled and he seemed somewhat in disbelief and then he said they were going to be having a baby.
We congratulated them and they were happy. They asked us not to tell anyone yet because the news was still new. They had been TTC for about two years and were in the process of considering possible IVF treatments when they naturally got PG.
T~ and I suspect that they had just found out. The timing of the news, the EDD and their reaction during the conversation. Plus, they asked us not to say anything. It felt like such a private moment between them that we just happened upon. It was one of those rare intimate moments that you witness between a couple and you feel like an observer. It is beautiful, but you feel a little awkward having witnessed it and out of respect for their privacy.
After our brief conversation and learning of their news, T~ and I said our good-byes. We looked at each other barely taking it all in when T~'s older brother suddenly called on Facetime. Still in shock of his younger brother's news, we fumbled through the conversation with his whole family and their mother, who was visiting.
Glad that we had kept our word about the news and once the Facetiming was finished, T~ asked me how I was feeling. It was very kind and thoughtful of him to ask. He didn't want to see me hurt. But, I wasn't. T~'s younger brother and sister-in-law knew that I experienced IF during my previous marriage. I told T~ that news of babies can affect me differently. Most times when I hear about a couple that has been TTC, I do feel happy for them without hesitation. I think it does not make me sad because I can relate to the pain they have gone through to get that BFP. They appreciate the miracle of conceiving a child.
So, fast forward to the present where T's younger brother and sister-in-law have already shared the news with their families...and why I can post about this story now. In the sharing of their news, they also made a video and posted it on Facebook and YouTube.
T~ was excited to share the video with me, proud future uncle to his younger brother's child. We watched it together and it was beautiful and touching. And not even halfway through I started to cry. T~ said he was sorry that he showed me the video and felt he had been thoughtless in that it did not cross his mind how I would feel. I told him not to apologize, but I appreciated his concern. I told him I was glad he showed me the video--he was being a proud uncle-to-be and sharing his life with me. I would not want him to hide that. I told T~ that it was a combination of happy tears and sad tears because I could relate to so much of it. But, there are more happy tears than sad ones. And this will not be the first or the last time that I will probably cry. I told T~ that it is okay. I would rather share in his life, his happiness. I think my reaction may have helped him understand on another level just how big of a deal it can be to have a child. It truly is a blessing.
The video took my breath away. It really is beautiful and I am happy for them with all of my heart. At the end of it, I had a feeling of yay, you did it!
Click here for the link.