While scrolling through my facebook feed a few weeks ago, I noticed a listicle, 12 Women With Perfect Responses For Why They Don't Have Kids, with quotes from famous women without children with their thoughts about not having children. In some ways it was refreshing to see since facebook can be flooded with pictures, posts, blog highlights and advertisements of pregnancy, babies and motherhood. When skimming the news websites, I will also notice articles about parenting, baby making and children. This mini article seemed like a departure from so much of what feels like is being shoved into the forefront. It is not very often that I will come across things about people living childless or childfree. The women highlighted in the article came across to me as strong, confident and unapologetic of living a life without children of their own. They did not respond in a way that was diminishing motherhood, but presenting living the alternative as good, fulfilling and happy.
The article was good timing because I was feeling determined not to let March get me down, as it has typically been a difficult month for me. It was a bit of a pick me up as if to say that if I do not become a mother that I will be okay. I want to be a mother, but I don't know if it will happen.
I had thought about sharing the article in my facebook wall, but then I hesitated. I toggled back and forth if I should or not. I found the article to be empowering and wanted to share it. But then I did not want to come across as some kind of baby/motherhood/parenting hating brat. I was not sure how it would be received. On top of that, with T~ and I planning our wedding, I feel pretty confident that there are people wondering when we are going to start our family...as there have already been comments and questions. While I thought the article's title and content was to the point and honest, I didn't know if it could read as harsh. I was worried it could lead to further unwanted assumptions and inquiries. So, I decided not to post it. Torn between wanting to spread the conversation about living childless or childfree and wanting to protect my privacy.
It is sad, isn't it, that we feel sticking up for our lifestyle - or even expressing support for a lifestyle that is not seem as the norm - might be seen as ann attack on the norm. And so we keep quiet, to protect our already injured hearts, even though the act of keeping quiet damages them a little further. You've given me a lot to think about, including what I post on Fb
ReplyDeleteIt is sad. I don't want to be quiet. I usually don't post anything that could be seen as political on fb. I'm not really up for a possible attack. But even more so, I just do not want the prying questions. Not right now. Timing is important.
DeleteThanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Mali!
I hesitate to post or even "like" some stuff on Facebook as well. I don't want people to think I am "wallowing" or trying to make them feel uncomfortable. But once in awhile I find stuff that is simply too good not to share.
ReplyDeleteIt is true to share something every once in a while, especially if it is carefully chosen. Sometimes it can have more of an impact when not posting the same stuff all of the time. The link is saved here. So, if I change my mind, then I will know where to find it.
DeleteThanks for reading and commenting on my blog, Loribeth!