Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I Broke My Finger
Yep, I broke my finger and I am not happy about it. I have always prided myself on not having broken any bones or needing stitches or fillings in my teeth. When the LPN told me that it is one of those days that everyone is breaking things, I said with surprise, "Really?" And then I realized he was including me--and my heart sank and I wanted to cry. Crap!
Well, it happened during pre-game warm-up with my co-ed football team. I've played the female QB (yes, I have an arm and I can throw a tight spiral). I thought I jammed it while catching the ball with some tossing around before the game. I still played not realizing it was broken, but had a feeling something was just not right. Fortunately, it is not a finger on my throwing hand or my dominate hand. But this really sucks! It was our first game and I will probably be out for the season. And I might not be able to play kickball or possibly run in the half-marathon! I have an appointment with the specialist tomorrow and will find out more. But I am so upset because I had a lot of fun plans for the spring.
So as I was sitting in the ER, I asked the doctor how long it would take to recover. He laughed because I was trying to negotiate to what extent I can continue my physical recreation activities. Then I was feeling overwhelmed by all of the other implications of my injury...papers to type, not getting it wet in the shower, what will be covered under my health insurance, how many more doctor visits I will have to have, how running evens out my beer consumption calorie in-take, how I will be able to blow dry my hair...you know, the important stuff. That is when the tears came and I felt silly because it is a finger, but it is my finger. And I suddenly felt very small and lonely and I realized I could really use a hug. But there was no one there to do that for me. My family is about two hours away. And I didn't feel like I could call one of my friends here to meet me at the hospital to give me a hug at 11:30 pm on a work night. I was all by myself and I was scared. The LPN told me it could be far worse, which is very true. That is a good perspective, but I needed to let myself feel a little sad and not skip over those feelings.
I texted a few people, but it was not the same as a hug. But I will be thankful for that!