I know my last post was down right depressing. It was raw and felt so good once I hit publish. Sometimes I think the anticipation of something can be almost worse than the actual thing. I had been trying so hard not to let myself get so upset, to not go near what I was really thinking and to try to be brave. Sometimes I am just so tired of feeling all of those feelings or knowing that they are just waiting to spill over.
But, today was a better day. I had a presentation to give this afternoon at work (my very first!), so I think that helped to focus my mind elsewhere and keep me distracted. And when I was done, it felt really good. I was proud of myself. After I thanked the group for participating and sharing their stories, they sang happy birthday to me.
It was a good day because I got to enjoy the extra pumpkin chip cookies that I made for my presentation. Yesterday, a new friend made me birthday dinner. I was surrounded with love from family and friends with birthday wishes with cards, texts, facebook messages and phone calls. My mom sent me a birthday present in the mail with my usual and favorite birthday gift--a new fall sweater (a light one since I am in Florida now). I am blessed to have so many people who care about me and want good things for me in my life. And my heart is with them, too, wanting nothing but the very best for them.
I know this post is cheesy. But sometimes it is important to recognize the good--especially when you are more ready to embrace it again. Hopefully, each day gets better.
I'm so glad you have been able to make some great relationships in your new environment (not that I ever doubted you would)! After reading your last post, I went back and looked at my journals from when I had my 35th birthday. Wow...even though our situations were slightly different, the raw emotions were so much the same! You are far too strong to be down for too long. Everyone has their weak moments, but what will define you is what you learn from them. Look at them as a "teachable moment" for yourself. Release your anger, pain, frustration, fears...and then prove to yourself that you are strong, happy, confident and DESERVING of every good thing that is coming your way! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Diane! Thank you for sharing that you felt similar raw emotions on such a milestone birthday. I appreciate that you understand that a person has to let out those painful emotions to be able to make room to be strong, happy and confident. Lots of love!
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