Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Whirlwind Dating from the Spring

So, I haven't posted in a bit and I have reason. Up until recently, my dance card has been full as I was dating several guys during the spring. I didn't intend to date so many guys at once. It just happened to work out that way and I decided to go with the flow and enjoy it. It was fun while it lasted because it gave me a chance to meet a bunch of different people and to try some new things. I think it was important for me to have these experiences without settling down with just one guy. I needed the freedom and the space to explore what it is that I am looking for in a relationship. From each person I was definitely able to learn something about myself and how I want to go forward in my dating life.
  1. Stick with the honesty thing, it works for me. I am the kind of person that what you see is pretty much what you get. I don't play games. The truth is better in the long run and I'd rather be direct, albeit with care and kindness.
  2. Listen to my inner voice. If something doesn't feel right, listen and think. I have to do what is best for me and know when to walk away--whether it is just to be friends or to let that relationship go entirely. For me, this is difficult because I so want to please. So, to fully voice my opinion when it may feel like it could cause conflict is huge for me.
  3. Easy-breezy, go with the flow, and no expectations. I like to have answers and a plan. But I find that with dating, it works better to relax and not over think everything. Let things unfold and live in the moment. Be observant and I'll know what I need to know when I know it.
  4. Remember to have fun, laugh, and smile. I don't want to take for granted the time spent with each date. It may not last and I want to make it count. I need to allow myself to open up more and not hold back. Reciprocated sharing with both people is important.
In the end, I was sad to see one guy go and I hope one guy will stick around to be a friend. The others will probably disappear into the history of my life. It got to be a bit crazy dating them all at once and I am ready to walk away from that for a bit. While these experiences are valuable, I also found it difficult to truly get into that next level with any of them. It was like I was stretching myself too thin to be able to give in the way of being more disclosive about myself. This will take trust. Trusting the other person and trusting myself. As my dating wave was ending, I was looking forward to maybe just dating one person so that I could have an opportunity to get to a deeper dating relationship.

And as it turns out, there was someone very promising just kind of hanging out there! He is also the kind of guy that I would not want to throw into a dating mix. He's one that is worth the time and effort to get to know all by himself. I really like him and I will just have to see where this adventure goes!


  1. I love this post. LOVE. IT.

    I love how much freedom you are allowing yourself-
    I love how much faith you are putting in yourself -
    I love that you know what you want, and more importantly what you DESERVE.

    LOVE. IT.

    Oh and I can't wait to hear about this new guy! Sorry I missed you on Sunday - I promise I'll try to catch you this weekend!!!

    Love you!

  2. Isn't it so freeing to learn these things about yourself, and follow through? I also love this post, and love that you're able to have these experiences. And this new guy does sound very interesting!

  3. You are way too cute Jamie. I think you really have a good head on your shoulders and it sounds like more and more you're finding out what you want. I love that there is someone else in the picture that is worth taking the time to get to know. I can't wait to hear more about him!

  4. Melissa, thank you for your response. After reading it, I kind of looked back at my post and thought I AM doing pretty well for myself. I need to acknowledge my own credit that I am giving myself--if that makes sense.

    Alie, thank your for reading and being so positive as I am sharing my dating experiences. Sometimes I feel like a silly teenage girl. I cannot tell you how many times I find myself with huge grin on my face as I am in wonder about where I am in my life. It is fantastic!

    Ellie, I had to crack up when you made the cute comment. It is like, really? Me? And that is mostly because I am flattered because I can't tell you how many times I have read your posts and thought you are just too cute! We so need to meet some day! (And that goes for the other BBC ladies I haven't met yet, too!)