My mind is playfully dancing around the conversation T~ and I had just before bed last night. It just kind of floated out there, all innocent like. My heart is happy and I am in wonder in how simple and natural and easy the conversation started and flowed. I'm not even really sure exactly when it started, it just happened and was.
T~ and I talked about moving in together.
We have talked in broad terms about our feelings and thoughts about marriage, children and things that bring us fulfillment. We have talked about wanting to find a partner and share a life with someone special.
This conversation was a dreaming kind of chat or a light sketch about us. No big or hard details, just feeling it out. But, the words were said that he wants to share a home with me and I want to share a home with him. It is all still early, but it was a real conversation with him.
And there is also something important that I've noticed about being with T~ in the last month or so. I feel calm and confident about our relationship. There isn't so much worry in trying to guess what he is thinking. I just ask him and he says it. There is a mutual transparency in our relationship. Part of this has been me learning to be more bold and part of it is him. And the times that we have spent apart, like being out of town visiting family, I have missed him, but I have felt at ease. In my past relationships I may have felt twisted up, stressed and scared. However, with T~, I feel secure-- secure in myself, in him and us when we are together and apart from one another. Again, it is from my own growing, but it is also him. I feel blessed to be with T~.