Monday, May 11, 2015

Ugly Day

Some years are better than others.  This was not one of them.  This year I felt angry leading into Mother's Day.  It is difficult to avoid social media.  Mother's Day related posts on fb are not just restricted to the day.  I feel that the trend on my feed this year was a bunch of "what moms really want for Mother's Day" memes.  These were not sweet sentiments.  These were gripey expressions of wanting more alone time, not wanting to wear crappy handmade jewelry and frustration about missteps in gift giving.  The memes screamed Mom Club.

The work of being a mother is difficult.  It is a job for life.  It is important to make time for yourself.  It is polite to accept gifts with grace.  However, if someone has been unintentionally hurt by someone's gift giving choice, there may be better tact to share this information.  As a person who has struggled with becoming a mother and who still dreams of one day becoming a mother, these memes feel ungrateful, insensitive and hurtful.

On the eve of Mother's Day, I wrote a brief comment on a few of the originator's memes, from where it seemed created.  Generally, it expressed validation that mothers work hard and need time for themselves.  But, it seems ungrateful to be complaining when there are women whom would love to have a child express their love for their mom, a person whom that child feels they are the most wonderful, loving and beautiful person in the world.  There was no response.

The next day was difficult getting out of bed.  I just wanted to crawl into a hole.  Lately, I have felt in a dark place about motherhood and feel like it may not happen.  I called my mom and wished her a Happy Mother's Day.  I wish I could be closer to home.  I was glad my sister was home to spend the afternoon with my parents.  The Cavs won, so that made my mom happy.  We sent texts back and forth about it.  I love my mom.

Microblog Mondays

10 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry the day was so tough. That sounds AWFUL. I hate the Mom Club posts on facebook too, those memes that are meant to be ha-ha but really kind of stab-stab. Good for you for going to the source and telling them how their memes can be completely and utterly insensitive, even if they didn't bother to respond. I am thinking of you, and sending you peace and love. It is hard to be in that dark place.

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  2. Thank you, Jess, for your kind and supportive words. Even with no response, I'm kind of glad that a posted a few tasteful, to the point, purposeful comments instead of just remaining totally quiet. Thank you for thoughts of peace and love. Finding and embracing peace is a goal for me this year.

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  3. Mother's Day is so hard to navigate when there's a hole in your heart, for whatever reason.

    Abiding with you...

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  4. I spent the day with my mum (and got to see my sister the day before), but stayed off of social media for days. There was nothing I wanted to say -- I said what I wanted to say directly to my mum -- and there were only so many updates I could read in a row before feeling drained.

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    1. Glad you got to enjoy the day with your mom and with your sister the day before. As for fb, it was more like a week or two leading into the weekend, rather than the actual day. They seemed to be sprinkled in enough that it didn't seem so in your face at first, but more of the cumulative effect that slightly increased over time. It was difficult to judge when to cut off this year.

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  5. Yes, Facebook is so hard to look at on Mother's Day. I basically stayed off it, because I have a hard time with the Mommy Club.

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    1. I skimmed it on Mother's Day because I wanted to wish a friend a happy birthday. Otherwise, I would have just stayed off. Next year.

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  6. I'm really sorry you were exposed to this. People are so very self-centred when it comes down to it. Sending very belated hugs.

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    1. Thank you for the hugs. They are always welcome. :)

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