As I believe I have mentioned before, there are times when I am drawn towards articles about relationships, especially after having been through divorce. At first, I read them to try to glean reasons why my past relationship ended in divorce. Then I read them when I began dating to learn more about beginning new relationships and to reset my expectations as I embraced dating as an adventure. But, eventually I wanted to come to a place in my life that I would be ready and wanting marriage with that right special person. I am hopeful for that with T~.
So, now the relationship articles that catch my eye are more about how to have loving, fulfilling long-term relationships. There was one, which of course I cannot find now, that was about the secrets of older couples and the common characteristics their relationships had. I want be married again, and when I do, I want it to last. But, as I read this article, I could not help but be reminded of my relationship with my previous husband. I felt sad because at some point I thought he was my best friend. Briefly, my feelings of grief returned with a faint longing of having hoped it would have worked. It is not at all that I want it back or him, it was more of a feeling of mourning something lost. I did not like these feelings or that I thought about my previous husband when reading the article.
After a few weeks, I decided that feelings get stirred up now and again. And more importantly, it takes time to build a foundation for a solid relationship with depth. It is more about knowing that I want that with T~, and that it will take time to get there. Life is not a race, but a journey and one that I want to share with T~. I have decided to focus on what I am thankful for in my relationship with T~ now and what I appreciate about him. He is loving, patient and kind. He pays attention and is thoughtful and sensitive. He makes me laugh and loves to surprise me. I am so thankful he is in my life! I hope I am doing the same for him so that he feels loved and supported, too.