Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Wanting to Know the Secret

As I believe I have mentioned before, there are times when I am drawn towards articles about relationships, especially after having been through divorce.  At first, I read them to try to glean reasons why my past relationship ended in divorce.  Then I read them when I began dating to learn more about beginning new relationships and to reset my expectations as I embraced dating as an adventure.  But, eventually I wanted to come to a place in my life that I would be ready and wanting marriage with that right special person.  I am hopeful for that with T~.

So, now the relationship articles that catch my eye are more about how to have loving, fulfilling long-term relationships.  There was one, which of course I cannot find now, that was about the secrets of older couples and the common characteristics their relationships had.  I want be married again, and when I do, I want it to last.  But, as I read this article, I could not help but be reminded of my relationship with my previous husband.  I felt sad because at some point I thought he was my best friend.  Briefly, my feelings of grief returned with a faint longing of having hoped it would have worked.  It is not at all that I want it back or him, it was more of a feeling of mourning something lost.  I did not like these feelings or that I thought about my previous husband when reading the article.

After a few weeks, I decided that feelings get stirred up now and again.  And more importantly, it takes time to build a foundation for a solid relationship with depth.  It is more about knowing that I want that with T~, and that it will take time to get there.  Life is not a race, but a journey and one that I want to share with T~.  I have decided to focus on what I am thankful for in my relationship with T~ now and what I appreciate about him.  He is loving, patient and kind.  He pays attention and is thoughtful and sensitive.  He makes me laugh and loves to surprise me.  I am so thankful he is in my life!  I hope I am doing the same for him so that he feels loved and supported, too.

No comments:

Post a Comment